THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE, RIGHT?

Monday February 4, 2008. 11:52 A.M. I woke up with a splitting head ache after, from what I can remember, was a night of Super Bowl related festivities. I pour the first of many cups of coffee and turn on Sports Center while I try to remember the nightmare which woke me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Suddenly, I remember the dream, and realize it wasn't an alcohol-induced nocturnal vision, but the stone sober truth. The New York Giants won Super Bowl XLII. I fought off the nausea to keep on watching ESPN to make sure they weren't just trying to trick the hang-over victims with little-to-no recollection of the events that may have transpired last night. But it remained true. So I switched to MSNBC. They were talking about some "Super Tuesday" nonsense which, from what I could tell had nothing to do with a parade down the streets of Boston. But the scroll across the bottom confirmed my fears, as it read NEW YORK GIANTS WIN SUPER BOWL XLII. There is no way this can be true, MSNBC must have been in on the joke, too. What is today? When is April-Fools Day? So I switched to the only reliable news source on television, FOX News. Once again, political jargon. But in the crawler across the bottom of the screen appeared the most sickening words these eyes have ever seen. NEW YORK GIANTS ARE SUPER BOWL XLII CHAMPIONS; ELI MANNING NAMED MVP. It's true. the New York freakin' Giants won the Super Bowl. Not only that, but they beat the greatest team ever assembled, the previously unbeaten New England Patriots. And Eli freakin' Manning is the MVP? So let me get this straight, the "quarterback" whose appearance reflects the number on his jersey, who threw four interceptions in week twelve against the Vikings, who MY defensive coordinator once described as timid against the pass rush was the MVP of a Super Bowl after orchestrating a game-winning, career-defining drive in the closing moments of the biggest game of his life? So basically what you're telling me is that in front of the largest television audience in Super Bowl history, Eli freakin' Manning succeeded where MY guy, Donovan McNabb not only failed, but did so miserably, and vomited in the process. This is the darkest, blackest day in the history of professional sports. Worse than the Black Sox scandal of 1919. Worse than Pete Rose getting banned from Major League Baseball for life. Worse than the MLB's steroid era. Worse than the NBA or NHL lock outs. Worse than Terrell Owens scoring a touchdown in the Linc earlier this year. Worse than Chris Benoit. I'm done with football.
Of course, I will never be done with football, but I am sure the majority of my four or five readers felt similarly upon realizing that Eli Manning and the New York Giants, who were left for dead until a shock of life was jolted in the team after a thrilling defeat in week seventeen against these same New England Patriots, had won a championship before the McNabb & Reid Eagles were able to get over their final obstacle. This is absolutely ridiculous. We finally got one up on New York after the Mets' monumental collapse propelled the Phills to the playoffs for the first time in fourteen years, and this is what happens four months later? I am yet to accept this as truth, still, on Tuesday. know it has been a while, but if anyone still reads this page and would like to try to convince me of the facts I invite yo to do so. I have now made myself dizzy with anger again, I have to go lay down.


I plan on getting back on track, posting with a lot more frequency in the coming weeks and months, so check the page everyday for new articles.